Lil Xan’s journey as a rapper has been marked by numerous highs and lows. Throughout the years, he has openly shared his battles with addiction and various mental health issues, which have been well-documented in the public eye. However, Lil Xan has shown incredible resilience, managing to overcome these challenges and reclaim his well-being. Now, he stands in a positive space, both physically and mentally, and is eager to make a comeback in the music industry.
Solidifying his comeback is the release of “NODA,” Lil Xan’s first single in over a year. This unexpected drop may catch many fans off guard, considering the uncertainty surrounding Xan’s musical pursuits, amplified by the proliferation of false rumors. However, in an exclusive interview with Hot New Hip Hop, Lil Xan opens up about his current mental well-being, his path to sobriety, and the intricacies surrounding his hiatus and subsequent decision to reenter the music scene now that he finds himself in a more positive space. Dive into the details below as Lil Xan shares his story.
Hot New Hip Hop: During the years 2018 and 2019, you had several announced projects that never saw the light of day. Could you shed some light on the circumstances surrounding those scrapped projects and explain your mental state during that period?
Lil Xan: I often tell people that the most intense year of my life was probably 2018. It was a whirlwind of events and a chaotic time in my career. I can honestly say that my mental state during that period was extremely poor. It was evident to those who followed me on social media and other platforms. I had plans for several projects that I was genuinely excited about, but unfortunately…
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Lil Xan: Absolutely. During that time, I had this strong desire to provide something for my fans, and I think that’s where the motivation came from. However, my mental instability and physical health issues hindered my ability to follow through on those projects, leading to their cancellation. However, some of those ideas and concepts were reworked and could potentially see the light of day in the future if there is enough demand from fans. But right now, I’m focused on a new project that is set to release in the next few months. This project is consistent and aligns with what I’ve always wanted to give my fans—a solid, cohesive body of work that showcases the evolution of my sound. I aim to deliver something fresh, something remarkable, and something that reflects my growth as an artist. So, to answer your question, I’ve left the past behind and I’m now moving forward with new things.
Lil Xan: Perhaps I’ll gauge the interest of my fans and see if they want to hear some of the music that was recorded years ago. Of course, I’ll make it clear that it was recorded in the past. If there’s enough demand, I might consider releasing it on platforms like SoundCloud, keeping it more lowkey. However, at the moment, my focus is on my upcoming single and project, which were created in the past year when I was in a positive mental space. It was the best state of mind I’ve ever been in, and it coincided with being in the best place in my sobriety journey. That’s why I took some time off, stayed sober, and worked on a project that truly resonates with me.
Mac Miller, as I’ve mentioned before, played an enormous role in my life as both a person and an artist. His influence on me is immeasurable. His music has helped me through every situation I’ve faced since 2009. The incredible thing about Mac is that he unknowingly impacted millions of people in a positive way with his music. His artistry has touched countless lives, including mine.
Lil Xan: Every time I listened to the latest Mac Miller project, whether it was a mixtape like Macadelic or an album like Watching Movies, it felt like his music perfectly captured the struggles I was going through, even if I wasn’t on drugs at the time. I may have been younger, but whenever I found myself in a dark place, there was always a Mac Miller lyric that resonated with me. I’m sure millions of other kids had that same experience with his music. His talent was unparalleled, and he unknowingly had a significant impact on my life even before I had the chance to meet him.
It was quite a far-fetched idea, but my good friend Cole Bennett ended up directing a music video for Mac, Carnage, and MadeinTYO—another close friend of mine. Cole was also a big Mac Miller fan, if you ask him. When Cole asked if I wanted to join him on set, knowing how much of a fan I was, I was beyond grateful. I took an Uber and arrived at the shoot, where I had the opportunity to meet Mac for a little while.
I had the chance to talk to him, and although I walked in on a conversation they were already having, I could feel the wisdom in his words. He was discussing some incredibly challenging experiences that I would later encounter in my own life. Meeting him was something I never expected.
While we didn’t become close friends, we were definitely friendly. He even invited me and my girlfriend at the time to his show, which turned out to be his last show at the Hotel Cafe in Los Angeles. It was an incredible performance, with appearances by John Mayer, Cee-Lo Green, Jason Sudeikis, Olivia Wilde, and many other A-list celebrities from both the music and film industries. It truly showcased the love and admiration he garnered across various fields. Mac was simply a genuinely kind person.
After the show, which had an intimate crowd of only about a hundred people, I had the chance to talk to him briefly backstage. I can’t recall the specifics of our conversation, but as I was bidding farewell, something unexpected happened. Many people know this story. Mac approached me and simply said two words: “Be safe.” It caught me off guard since I had already said my goodbyes, but then I realized that maybe I looked particularly messed up that night, and he was genuinely looking out for me. However, those two words resonated deeply with me because just a month later, he tragically passed away. It happened to be the day after my birthday, adding an extra layer of sadness to the news.
Lil Xan: That moment with Mac Miller and his words, “Be safe,” really made me reflect on the importance of taking care of myself. It was a reminder to be more cautious and mindful of my actions. Looking back, I wish I had heeded his advice earlier, as I continued to face some of my most challenging hardships after that encounter. However, I always carried those words in the back of my mind. They served as a powerful reminder that things will be okay as long as I prioritize my well-being and make safe choices. It’s a simple yet profound message that holds great meaning to me.